


and i hear you calling in the dead of night

by aeriamamaduck



Series: Somewhere to Begin [7]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Death, Established Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Family Feels, Friendship, Healing, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Love, M/M, Major Character Injury, Medicine, Separations, Victor doesn't PHYSICALLY appear, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-22 03:16:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15572493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeriamamaduck/pseuds/aeriamamaduck
Summary: Things move quickly. One may not say what needs to be said, or see who needs to be seen. An end could bring peace and change.An end can also just bring an end.





	and i hear you calling in the dead of night

**Author's Note:**

> Time to buckle up, _again._ I apologize in advance for EVERYTHING.
> 
> And a word of warning: the next part in the series may not come out for a few weeks, since 1) there's no draft for it at the moment 2) there are wips awaiting (omegaverse AU, "holiday" AU, and the vacation fic!!!) 3) I recently entered physical therapy for a shoulder issue and a little self-care is called for! xD so any, uhhh, suspense isn't ENTIRELY on purpose.
> 
> Music rec? **"Dreaming of Killing Anne"** from the The Tudors soundtrack. Listened to it way too much as I was finishing this up.

* * *

 

_Oh, I feel overjoyed_

_When you listen to my words_

 

* * *

 

In all his life, Yuuri had never had so much blood on his hands.

 

He'd never been so exhausted. 

 

He'd seen his mother's patients die of illness. His own patients, to Yuuri's uncanny fortune, had all survived. 

 

But none of those patients had been in a war. And Yuuri, despite his efforts, watched some of those soldiers die in the days after the battle.

 

He got rid of his tunic and threw it in the direction of the pile of bloody rags before scrubbing his arms hard, furious and demoralized, thinking in the back of his mind that he seemed to just carry the scent of blood everywhere he went. 

 

_It's just your imagination._

 

Yuuri sighed at the sound of Victor's voice in his head, but he didn't smile.  _It's not. It reeks of it here. It gets worse every day. The heat doesn't help._

 

He could feel a warm caress through his mind, but it could only do so much. He missed  _touch,_ and three months without it had Yuuri feeling agonizing loneliness.

 

How had he lasted so long without it before Victor appeared?

 

He heard the tent flap open behind him, followed by soft footsteps he recognized as his mother's. He moved aside to give her room at the washbasin. She looked completely worn out, and it broke his heart to see it. Still, she managed to give him a tender smile as she took her outer tunic off and said, "You did a good job today."

 

"Three soldiers died under me," he replied quietly. He hadn't known them before arriving at the front weeks ago after a month and a half in a training camp, Otabek's information allowing Nihan generals to close in on the army from Kaziah. For all their loyalty, the Kazians tended to be reckless, resulting in heavy casualties on their side. 

 

It didn't lessen the Nihan army's losses, however, and Yuuri had been devastated after he'd lost his first patient, a fatal injury from the first battle. 

 

It all just seemed to go on, and more than once Yuuri wished he could go back to his cabin and hide until it was all over.

 

But he couldn't. This was his life now.

 

Funny how his life had changed in less than a year.

 

"And more survived," his mother said as she washed her hands. "The hardest part is learning when to let go and move on. There are just some injuries you can't fix no matter how hard you try." It was the same advice he'd heard hundreds of times, but it was hard to just accept it. "Is everything alright back home?" his mother then asked.

 

Yuuri smiled faintly, opening his mind to Victor's mind and what was going on in Hasetsu. "Yeah. Mari and Victor have everything under control." It was all mostly minor injuries and illness, and...some leftover distrust. That was Yuuri's biggest regret. "They miss us. That's the...loudest thought getting through."

 

 _It's true, though,_ Victor laughed. 

 

That answer seemed to make his mother happy. "Come. Let's check on Kenjirou and your friend," she said, going to open their trunk and retrieving a clean tunic for Yuuri.

 

He pulled it on and smoothed it over his chest, hoping that seeing Minami and Christophe would help lighten his mood.

 

It had been a surprise to run into the blond man once they got to the front. Apparently Eduard was still at their home, and had been for nearly four months. 

 

Yuuri never expected Christophe to be a soldier, but he evidently had great cunning on the battlefield. 

 

It wasn't enough to keep him from taking a blow to the head in battle earlier that day, but his fellow soldiers had gotten him to the healing tents as quickly as they could.

 

So he looked quite happy and comfortable when Yuuri and his mother entered his healing tent, sporting a bandage around his head and a bruise that nearly shut his eye. "And there are my two favorite healers!" he exclaimed in greeting.

 

Christophe was sharing the tent with yet another familiar face. Kenjiro had taken an arrow to the shoulder, but he _seemed_ to be his same overly excited self in spite of it. He blushed and waved with his good arm. "Hi, Yuuri! I'm feeling a lot better!"

 

"That's good to hear," Yuuri replied with a smile, and he swore Minami let out a little squeal. Ignoring it, he turned to the other man and asked, "How's your head feeling, Christophe?"

 

"The pain's still there, but your mother's lovely smile is making me feel better by the second," he said, winking in her direction.

 

Yuuri's mother giggled in response, but waved Christophe's comments away with light sternness. "Enough, enough! Focus on recovering instead of charming everyone you meet."

 

Once she checked both patients over she left the tent, leaving Yuuri alone with the two men.

 

Smiling after her, Christophe said, "Yuuri, your mother's a treasure. How would you like a new brother?"

 

Laughing softly, Yuuri dragged a stool over so he could sit between the two beds. "I still can't believe you're here," he said to the older man.

 

"I can't believe  _you're_ here," Christophe replied, wincing slightly as he turned his head to look at Yuuri. "You're still a newlywed, after all."

 

Yuuri flinched at the reminder. No matter how much time passed, the separation just never got easier. "It was important that I be here," he said, his heart heavy.

 

Christophe hummed in understanding. "That's what I told Eduard. He tried to support me, but he was still worried about so many things. Such as my eyesight...Luckily it's not that bad, and the soldiers conscripting everyone didn't notice," he added with a mischievous look.

 

 _And that's probably why you got injured,_ Yuuri thought wryly, but he didn't give Christophe that reminder. He'd wanted to pass on a bit of good news. "Otabek tells me the generals feel pretty confident the war's about to end. They've got the Kazians desperate."

 

That certainly got Christophe's interest. He looked like he wanted to sit up, but stayed where he was as he smiled. "Must be nice to have friends in high places."

 

Then Minami put in loudly, "It's because Yuuri saved his life! Victor too! He just ran into the village carrying him in his arms, and Yuuri just fixed him up!" 

 

"I had help, Minami," Yuuri reminded him. Otabek had continued to heal along the way, Yuuri removing his stitches on the third day on the road while he fretted about reaching the Nihan generals. He'd gone on ahead to the front and evidently his information had been a benefit.

 

Minami went on excitedly while Christophe listened with interest, "And then that assassin showed up, and Victor-"

 

" _Minami!"_ Yuuri exclaimed, giving the boy a hard look.

 

Minami paled, looking utterly chagrined at having nearly revealed Victor's secret. Every conscript from Hasetsu was friendly towards Yuuri, vowing to keep it all between them. So far it seemed that they'd kept their promise. Two of them had died in battle.

 

Biting his lip guiltily, Minami said, "...I was gonna say that Victor killed the assassin. I wasn't there, but my friends said it was pretty scary. I mean the guy  _did_ just hurt Victor's brother, Yuri."

 

Yuuri winced again as Christophe gave him a look of suspicion. "His brother? Wasn't the other "Yuri" Victor's  _cat?"_

 

"...Did I say that?" Yuuri asked in a casual tone, while poor Minami looked like he was about to combust.

 

"Yes, you did. Keeping more secrets, Yuuri?" Christophe questioned, eyes narrowing slightly.

 

Christophe might have been used to Yuuri's secrecy, but that never stopped him from being intensely curious or trying to charm answers out of Yuuri. Not knowing what to say, Yuuri was feeling incredibly nervous until the tent flap opened, and Takeshi was poking his head in. "Yuuri. Your mother sent me to come fetch you. Says you haven't eaten."

 

Yuuri tried not to look to relieved as he got up to follow him. "Thanks, Takeshi. Get some rest you two," he called over his shoulder. 

 

"How can I rest without my dear husband?" Christophe lamented.

 

Takeshi looked at him and replied, "Pretty easy. You snore real loud. I can hear it all the way from my tent."

 

"I think that's you, Takeshi," Minami said.

 

"Is not!" Takeshi shouted before tossing the tent flap closed.

 

Every bit of Yuuri flooded with relief as they made their way towards the mess area, but he didn't have much of an appetite. It was late in the afternoon, and while the fighting had ceased temporarily after the Kazians called a retreat, Yuuri could still hear screams and the clang of metal. 

 

He looked towards the mountains, thinking of Victor's home beyond them. It would have been the perfect time to make their way through the pass. They'd all be together.

 

"So how are my girls doing?" Takeshi asked as he walked alongside Yuuri.

 

Evidently Yuuko hadn't been at all happy that Takeshi had signed up without even consulting her, and they hadn't parted on the best terms. "Victor thinks Yuuko might be ready to talk to you again in about a decade. They're both doing their best to keep the girls distracted," Yuuri told him, thinking of the way Yuuko's girls had wept to see their father go.

 

Takeshi sighed heavily as they entered the mess area, which wasn't too full, much to Yuuri's reliefm "You're lucky. With that link of yours, you and Victor can pretty much understand every thought between the two of you. If I had something like that with Yuuko..."

 

They each got a bowl of meaty soup, though it appeared to be more vegetable than meat. "It's not that simple," Yuuri told him as they claimed a table. "We don't always understand everything about each other. We're just too different for that." 

 

"But he understood why you had to leave."

 

Yuuri flushed at the reminder. "...Not at first. I kind of sprang it on him out of nowhere," he admitted.

 

Takeshi nodded in grave understanding, then glanced up at something behind Yuuri. He raised a hand in greeting, calling out, "Otabek!"

 

Yuuri looked over his shoulder to see that the boy had indeed arrived. He looked stronger, but now wore Nihan leathers rather than his old Kazian ones. Otabek relaxed upon spotting them, and made his way towards them. He didn't get any food, sitting down next to Yuuri with a sigh. "Your spies are having a bit of a hard time infiltrating the Kazian generals' inner circles, but it's getting done."

 

"That's...good," Yuuri replied, trying to feel hopeful.

 

"Glad to see that info you nearly died for was actually worthwhile," Takeshi commented before getting a spoonful of soggy vegetables into his mouth.

 

Otabek smiled faintly, gazing at the table surface. "I'm glad too. Though it still doesn't seem like I'm entirely welcome here. They think I might turn and go back to the king. At least they're taking my warnings about the king's network of spies and assassins seriously. Our guards can't afford a single slip."

 

Yuuri gave him a sympathetic look. Even away from that king's dangerous influence, Otabek wasn't having an easy time of it. He'd asked the soldier if he missed his old life, and Otabek had only replied that his old life had never been  _his_.

 

Takeshi let out an annoyed hum and pointed his spoon at Otabek. "Hey, you've got friends here, kid. Anyone gives you crap, I'll hand it back to them."

 

Smiling, Yuuri nodded in agreement. "And you've got friends back home too. Hasetsu, that is."

 

Otabek kept gazing at the table, but a soft flush did appear on his face at their words. "Home...If and when this ends...You know, the king of Kaziah always claimed nothing could harm him. He was always at work trying to figure out a way to turn flesh into hard metal. He wanted to be an invulnerable god."

 

Yuuri couldn't help but feel amused by the image until he vividly imagined the king experimenting on live subjects.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri hated the nights. The days overall was almost impossible to endure, but night just came with unpleasant reminders, and a wish for silver hair that he could run his fingers through.

 

He lay awake, listening to his mother's soft snores from the cot across from his. It was the only comfort he had, since he tried not to reach for Victor in the night.

 

Sometimes he couldn't help himself, but Victor was always there, welcoming him with such warmth. And Yuuri could almost forget everything he'd seen, all those dead faces. Those were the thoughts and memories he tried the hardest to hide away, but they just kept slipping out.

 

Still, Victor stayed in his mind, burning like a fire and lighting up the dark night Yuuri found himself in.

 

_You don't have to hide anything from me, sweet one._

 

Yuuri felt that thought like a caress on his face.  _Go to sleep, Victor. I'm fine._

 

_I don't want to leave you. I miss you._

 

Yuuri could feel his throat tighten with agony.  _...I miss you too._

 

His sleep was restless, but at least there were no injuries or deaths when he did his rounds.

 

He spoke with the other healers, briefly comparing methods and notes, and hoped he'd at least built up a rapport with them. They worked together easily, though the younget ones were more reluctant to accept defeat. 

 

Afterward there seemed to be no changes, and Yuuri retreated into the tent where Minami and Christophe rested in. 

 

Takeshi was already there, filling them in on the goings-on in the camp and what the biggest rumors. Yuuri tried to listen and share it all with Victor, but his exhaustion had brought with it a healthy dose of paranoia.

 

He was so lost in his thoughts he almost didn't hear Christophe say his name as he came up with ways to bring up the injured soldiers' morale. "We can rouse the troops with a tantalizing dance of our own. What do you say, Yuuri?" he asked with a grin.

 

"...I think I'd rather stick to stitching them up," Yuuri replied, too tired and anxious to even think of dancing.

 

Christophe gave him a pout before moving on to Takeshi. "What about you, big man? I hear you play a decent drum."

 

"An EXCELLENT drum!"

 

"And Minami? You've told me how you've admired Yuuri's dancing all these years. Think you can match his skill?"

 

" _I'll do it!"_ Minami exclaimed, face flushed with excitement as he gazed at Yuuri in admiration. 

 

Yuuri could only gape back at him as Takeshi frantically tried to dissuade the boy.

 

It helped a bit, though, and his good mood lasted only until he reached a tent he hadn't gotten to in the days since the battle and saw J.J. and Isabella lying inside of it together, cots pushed as close as possible to allow them to hold hands. They all expressed surprise to see each other there, Yuuri discovering they'd both broken limbs in the battle. He sat in that tent for several minutes, talking to them and watching them look at each other with such adoration and gratitude, and while Yuuri was glad for them he couldn't help but feel miserable as he was reminded that he was here without Victor to touch and hold.

 

He bid them a genuinely fond farewell and left the tent, each step growing heavier as he made his way to his and his mother's tent still wishing in-between every reminder that he had chosen this. 

 

 _I miss you,_ he admitted, reaching for Victor in his mind.

 

_I know. I can feel it. Do you want to hear about something happy?_

 

 _Tell me_.

 

_Minako talked me into teaching her kids a dance. You should have seen how sweet they all looked._

 

Yuuri couldn't help but laugh softly.  _"Talked" you into it? Right, because you don't love showing off your skills every chance you get. But you're right, that does sound sweet._

 

_They'll want to show you all once you return._

 

He wanted to feel optimistic about that. But two of the conscripts from Hasetsu had been killed in battle, so those were two more that weren't going home again except in urns. And while the war could go in either direction, Yuuri could feel a familiar sense of dread building up inside him, likely because  _nothing_ was happening.

 

 _Ah. No doubt, my light,_ Victor chided.  _We're going to see each other again._

 

Yuuri paused at the entrance to the tent, staring out towards the mountains. Beyond them lay Rutha, and Victor's home. Five days of travel on foot.  _Sorry. Just thinking too much, I suppose._

 

He entered the tent and sat down on his cot with a heavy exhale, almost expecting a soft kiss at his nape. He touched his nape with his fingers, feeling how long his hair had gotten. Just past his earlobes. Not long enough to distract him yet, and it was amusing to imagine how he would look with his hair as long as Victor's. 

 

_Soft and thick, I bet. Thicker than mine._

 

_Jealous already, Victor?_

 

_Very, my delight._

 

Touch. He missed touch. He missed touching Victor. 

 

Before he could sink further into that particular source of misery, the tent flap opened and Yuuri's mother walked in, her eyes brightening when she saw him inside. "No word from the generals yet, despite the enemy's retreat," she informed him.

 

He tried to feel optimistic about that, quietly saying, "No one died today, at least."

 

"Good. The more people we can send home, the better," she replied, sitting down across from him on her own cot. He watched her smile slowly turn into something more bittersweet, and she raised her gaze to his as she said, "You and I will be home soon, and you'll go with Victor."

 

Yes. Once they returned to Hasetsu it would mean he, Victor, and Yurio could cross that pass and they could finally see their home again. He'd be leaving in the light of day rather than sneaking out in the dead of night. But that wouldn't stop his family from feeling sorrow when he left. He knew that now. "...It's not forever," he assured her. "I'll still go back to Hasetsu."

 

She nodded firmly, gazing at him like he was about to disappear again. "Yes you will. Because that's still your home, no matter what." She paused, and Yuuri was quietly shocked by the tears he saw gathering in her eyes. "You make me proud, Yuuri. You always have."

 

He drank in the sound of the words, grasping at the warmth they brought and letting it fill his heart. "It's what I've always wanted to do," he replied.

 

"And it won't change, no matter where you go," his mother told him, brushing away the tears that did escape. Yuuri could only look on as she composed herself, looking back at him and saying with such sadness, "This is the one hurt I could never take from you, no matter what I did. What kind of mother am I?"

 

"The best," Yuuri immediately answered, leaning towards her and looking at her in desperation. "Mom...you did everything you could, and I was the one who...I threw it all away."

 

"No, you didn't," she said with a shake of her head. "You wouldn't be here if you had thrown it all away. It's all in the past, and you're allowed to take your happiness even if it takes you far away from me. Only this time it'll be different. I will worry, but it'll be a different worry."

 

He almost wished she wouldn't worry, but that was her right and duty as a parent. Yuuri could let her worry. "Thank you," he said, suddenly realizing how important it was for her to hear it. "For everything."

 

She let out a soft laugh that also sounded like a sob. "That sounds too much like a goodbye."

 

He hoped it didn't. He didn't want to say goodbye. He wanted to do this right, and re-establish his connection with Hasetsu. No matter what, it was still his home, and one day he would return and feel safe within it again. 

 

He wanted to build a life with Victor wherever life took them.

 

Why was it so difficult for Yuuri to envision it clearly? 

 

 _It's just being stuck here, with nothing happening,_ he reminded himself after his mother left, letting him wash and clean himself in private. 

 

He was making his way to the mess area when he decided he wasn't in the mood for a quiet meal, and so when he found Takeshi there they took their bowls of hot, soggy vegetable soup, and made their way to the healing tents.

 

Yuuri was grinning by the time they entered Minami and Christophe's tent, and so were they when they saw him enter.

 

"Looks like our leaders are content to leave us in the lurch. But not our healers!" Christophe exclaimed, already sitting up and beaming widely.

 

They took their seats and got comfortable, and Minami asked, "Everything alright out there, Yuuri?"

 

"No change," Yuuri confirmed, trying to eat despite his lack of an appetite. "Feels like I'm waiting for something awful to happen."

 

"It's all this waiting," Takeshi muttered. "Makes everyone paranoid."

 

They all quietly agreed, and Yuuri managed a few mouthfuls of soup through the lump in his throat. He felt Christophe's eyes on him, and looked up to meet his gaze."Are you resting at all, Yuuri?" the other man asked, looking mildly concerned.

 

"Not really," Yuuri replied honestly, very aware of the tension in his shoulders. Still, Christophe's concern surprised him, and he said gratefully, "Thanks for...for asking."

 

Christophe looked at him with a surprised look of his own. "You act like it's a huge favor. Really, Yuuri, I've considered you a dear friend for years. The least I can do is ask."

 

Yuuri's ears burned at the reminder of his habitual coldness as he tried to distance himself from everyone in the city, despite their overtures towards him, the healer determined to remain a total mystery. "I wasn't exactly friendly all those years, Christophe," he murmured.

 

"Eduard and I are stubborn people. It's why I married him," Christophe said with a chuckle, and a moment later his eyes dimmed at the reminder of the man he left behind.

 

Yuuri could feel Takeshi's mood shift beside him, and met Minami's worried gaze. He tried smiling at the boy reassuringly, trying not to let his own melancholy carry him away. 

 

Silence fell over them, and Yuuri was trying to think of a way to break it when the tent flap suddenly opened, and a harried-looking soldier entered, her face incredibly pale. "Something's happened," she panted.

 

"What is it?" Takeshi immediately asked as he set his bowl aside and got to his feet.

 

Catching her breath, the soldier said with an anxious look, "The King of Kaziah died. Some...freak accident with fire, they're saying. His soldiers are running amok, directionless." 

 

Yuuri stopped breathing, not quite believing what he was hearing. Swallowing, he got to his feet and asked frantically, "What about his generals?"

 

"Dead too. They'd all stabbed themselves, along with a bunch of soldiers," she replied, looking both awed and horrified. "I...I don't think they handled their king dying very well."

 

"Why would they? He was like a living god to them," Takeshi muttered, meeting Yuuri's eyes nervously.

 

"So...does this mean we're going home?" Minami asked, his voice small despite all the hope in it.

 

"We don't know what it means yet, Minami," Christophe replied, sounding somber.

 

The soldier left, leaving them all alone with their thoughts, and Yuuri went over her words in his mind, trying to accept that maybe, _maybe_ it was actually ending... _A freak accident_...Then he exhaled, shocked as he recalled what Otabek had told him the day before. "He actually did it..."

 

Christophe asked, "Who did?"

 

"The king!" Yuuri exclaimed, his mind painting a too-vivid picture of the man's experiments. "Otabek said he was obsessed with...invulnerability. He must've tried once he saw how close he was to being beaten. _That's_ how he died."

 

For all his declarations and all the loyalty he had, it had been a lost cause once the Nihan army truly met the Kazians in battle. It looked like...it really was over. 

 

And yet they all looked equally apprehensive. Like it was all too good to be true.

 

When Yuuri left the tent it seemed like the air was buzzing with activity as people rushed to share the news and spread it throughout the camp. He heard cheers and various nervous mutters, but he didn't stop to acknowledge any of it. He needed to find his mother, or...or Otabek. 

 

 _It's over,_ he couldn't help thinking.

 

He could feel the shock and brilliant joy blaze through his bond with Victor, and let out an overwhelmed laugh at the sensation.

 

_So that's it? You're coming back?_

 

_I think. I don't know. No one's said anything official. It's just a rumor right now._

 

_I don't know if I can wait. You're actually coming home!_

 

"I'm going home," he breathed out aloud, unable to stop himself from beaming at the thought of it. "I'm going home..."

 

 _Yes, you are,_ Victor thought back adoringly.  _I love you, and I can't wait to see you._

 

"I can't wait to see you too," Yuuri murmured as he sprinted towards the mess area, having spotted Otabek sitting by himself at one of the tables. "And I love you too," he panted excitedly.

 

Otabek looked up and turned around to look at him, confused. "What?"

 

Yuuri blushed, realizing he might have said that last part a bit too loud. He reached the table and quickly said, "Nothing! I-I mean...Is it true? Is the king really dead?"

 

The young man stared at Yuuri for a moment and nodded silently, frowning slightly as he looked down at the table's surface. "A Nihan spy made it through. He saw the entire thing. It was...gruesome."

 

Concerned, Yuuri looked at Otabek for a moment before moving to sit down in front of him. "What is it?" he asked quietly.

 

"Its just..." Otabek let out a heavy sigh, his shoulders sagging like someone had just severed the strings holding him up. He looked absolutely alone and...uncertain. "I knew he was only a man, but...This is like the ultimate proof. My friends...everyone who lay their life down for him...it was all for nothing. He was no god after all."

 

Yuuri nodded as he tried to understand such a level of devotion. No matter how much time Otabek had spent away from such an environment, this was still undoubtedly a shock. "What will you do now?" he asked, wondering what Otabek's plans were. Would he even want to go back home? What would his home even look like now that it seemed like the entire world had changed?

 

While the entire camp seemed to be cheering for a victory that hadn't really been declared yet, Kaziah might have been on the verge of falling apart. 

 

Otabek shrugged, not meeting Yuuri's gaze. "I don't know. You know Yura's asked me the same thing?" he asked with a faint smile.

 

Yuuri couldn't help smiling at the sight of it. Whatever they'd shared in the days of their convalescence, they'd bonded. It was good to know Yurio had a friend. "Did he?" he asked, trying to hide his amusement.

 

Otabek just kept smiling as he gazed at his hands, deep in thought. Then he remarked softly, "At least you'll all get to go home."

 

"You could come with us, you know," Yuuri offered. Otabek looked up at him in genuine surprise, and Yuuri quickly added encouragingly, "Hasetsu could be your home."

 

"...What would I do?" Otabek asked him, looking so unsure.

 

The question wasn't a complete surprise. Yuuri knew what it felt to have the future so wide open, both filled with and devoid of possibility. "Whatever you wanted," he told him, hoping that didn't sound  _too_ frightening a concept.

 

Even so, Otabek looked so caught off-guard, and Yuuri wondered if this was the first time he'd ever considered life after he'd completed his mission. He had to have thought about it at least once? "...What do I want?" he then asked, almost as if asking himself.

 

Still mildly worried, Yuuri shook his head and said to the young man, "You don't have to decide now. You have...so much time to do that." 

 

Otabek nodded silently, his eyes following the movements of every person walking around the camp. As the moments passed, Yuuri had time to let all of his thoughts settle, realizing that maybe this news didn't necessarily mean peace. Maybe they wouldn't be going home any time soon. 

 

"...I need to think on this," Otabek said quietly as he got to his feet, pausing for a moment. "...Thank you. For everything you've done for me."

 

Yuuri stared back at him, and before he could respond Otabek turned and walked away, his shoulders a tense line.

 

Blowing out a long breath, Yuuri reminded himself that not everything could be fixed. He knew that.

 

He stared off in the direction of the healing tents, his hand finding the hilt of the knife he'd carried since he was old enough to carry it responsibly. He just reflexively carried it wherever he went, like he was still surviving on his own, periodically carving out bark for tea or carving up a catch. It wasn't anything Yuuri had ever dared use on a human (or otherwise) body, using his and his mother's other tools for that as they tried to save as many people as they could, even as they screamed curses at them or begged for death. 

 

Yes, it certainly wasn't the kind of life Yuuri had pictured a year before. A year before he'd had no real expectations, living day by day and watching the years pass, marked by a terrifying silence that Victor had broken.

 

He had expectations now. 

 

Yuuri gave the hilt a quick squeeze. No more surviving. He'd go home and he'd have a life to live. He'd join Victor and Yurio and see their home.

 

All he had to do was wait for actual news.

 

He got to his feet and made his way back towards the healing tents. Christophe and Minami had waited for news long enough, he supposed. 

 

_I think Mom needs to hear it too. I'll find her later._

 

He could hear a lot of activity coming from the tents, and even spotted a few people moving in and out of them excitedly. He hoped his friends hadn't moved, because it'd take him a long time to find them.

 

He walked past a man in a healer's tunic entering one of the tents, looking grim. Yuuri stopped and turned just as the flap fluttered closed, wondering if something had gone wrong with that particular patient. 

 

Maybe he'd need an extra pair of hands. It wouldn't hurt to ask. 

 

He made his way towards the tent. Christophe and Minami would probably hear the news from someone else anyway.

 

As he reached out for the tent flap he could hear the sounds of a struggle within, and alarm shot up his spine. Was the patient in trouble?

 

Yuuri entered the tent and horror stilled his breath.

 

The man wore a healer's tunic, but no healer would have been aiming a knife towards a patient's exposed throat.

 

And he knew the patient lying on the cot.

 

Ketty, a musician-turned-archer who'd taken a sword to the belly in the last battle. She hadn't been close to death then. Now she was struggling to push the assailant away from her, a look of wild desperation in her eyes as the knife inched closer to her throat.

 

That was when she screamed in terror, and Yuuri was sure anyone nearby had heard it.

 

His hand found the hilt of his knife again.

 

_What am I doing what am I doing._

 

It was stupid, it was so monumentally stupid.

 

But if he stayed still or ran away, Ketty would die.

 

All he had to do was get his legs to move.

 

_Come on, come on... **MOVE!**_

 

His wrist moved first, and his knife was out. 

 

_Someone help._

 

He wanted to scream but he didn't dare make a noise.

 

Once he moved his leg he was already running.

 

Just a few short steps and Yuuri already had his hands on the man's arms. In one brief second, dark brown eyes met his, wide with outrage and shock, and Yuuri grunted as he hauled him away from Ketty, sending him sprawling to the ground.

 

Panting, Yuuri turned towards Ketty. Her eyes, round with terror, met his for a brief moment, and then she looked at her assailant with a sharp gasp.

 

His heart pounding, Yuuri turned to look at him too.

 

He was crouching, glaring at them hatefully as he gripped his knife. That was when Yuuri noticed the dark blood staining the front of the tunic he wore.

 

 _"You first,_ " he hissed, his eyes on Yuuri.

 

Then he pounced with a roar.

 

Without thinking, Yuuri lifted his knife and stepped forward. He couldn't let him get to Ketty-

 

Yuuri gripped his knife and brought it down as fast as he could.

 

He pushed through the hard resistance of flesh, right to the side of the man's neck.

 

Yuuri watched the man's eyes widen further in pain and surprise.

 

Then he felt cold steel pierce through him.

 

Then came the pain. 

 

Then Ketty screamed behind him.

 

Yuuri and the man stared at each other, Yuuri listening to him struggle for breath as the blood began to flow.

 

Then Yuuri jolted when he felt the steel being yanked out of his body in a single, cruel motion. He looked down, incredibly aware of every pulse of his heart, and saw dark blood spreading across his tunic. 

 

The bloody knife slipped out of the man's grip just as he fell to the floor.

 

Yuuri kept his eyes on his own body, watching the dark stain grow, and suddenly he was hitting the ground.

 

_I'm hurt. No. Not just hurt._

 

_I'm bleeding._

 

Yuuri kept on blinking, knowing he needed to put his hands over the wound, and...

 

" _SOMEONE HELP!"_

 

_Ketty..._

 

More screams.

 

Not just from the girl.

 

"What's...what's happening..." All he heard was his own breath, too strained.

 

Was he even putting any pressure on the wound?

 

Ketty was out of focus above him, her tear-stained face filled with fear. "Gods...Don't die, don't die! Yuuri's your name, right? Yes...Yes, your mother saved me!"

 

Her hands were on him, putting pressure.

 

 _Yes...Yes, I'm Yuuri..._  

 

His vision was fading quickly, despite his blinking. _Stay awake, stay awake..._

 

"What happened here?!" he heard someone scream. No, not someone.  _Takeshi..._

 

" _Go find a healer, now!"_ Ketty shouted.

 

"Yuuri! Oh, gods, Yuuri, hang on!"

 

That was Minami.

 

His young face, horrified, appeared above Yuuri.

 

His entire front was drenched in blood.

 

_Are you hurt? Who's hurt? Who's dead?_

 

It was getting harder to keep his eyes open.

 

And just as everything went completely dark, Yuuri hurled out one last, screaming thought: 

 

**_VICTOR!_ **

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**.**

**Author's Note:**

> please comment
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> SONG QUOTED: _Overjoyed_ by Bastille
> 
> Next is Victor's point of view. 
> 
> Yell at me on tumblr: **aeriamamaduck**


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